spacegarbage | TEXTS FROM OUTER SPAAAAAACE

TEXTS FROM OUTER SPAAAAAACE

listen, you know the drill.

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1. All I know is that I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other.
2. I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
3. I found the vodka. It was hiding in the orange juice.
4. My dignity? Collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

1. Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night.
2. I'm experimenting with sincerity.
3. Is the bloody handprint above my bed yours?
4. You left teeth marks on my hip.

This can only be settled by a dance off

[or text him, this is just tbh the only tfln i ever need]

1. The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.

2. You're an idiot.

3. Where is he. I have a sword.

a. I'm in love. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
b. These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
c. There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
d. [ text him! ]

a. He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka. I'm worried.
b. I just woke up to three dick pics. Why?
c. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's mad at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
d. [ text her! ]

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